Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
