I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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