so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You were trust falling into bushes
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
