You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
