So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Randomize
