I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
