So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
