I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
