Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
