i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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