I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
