my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
