Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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