How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
