Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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