covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
