She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
