I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Randomize
