I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
