As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
