Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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