how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
