My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
