why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
