Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
