I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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