Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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