you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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