Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
