New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Sacagawea was the original milf.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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