like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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