tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
