Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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