he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
