I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
