i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize