No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
