Whatcha textin bout Willis?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
