sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
