the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
