And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
