no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize