watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
