I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize