im so drunk with asians
where?
always
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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