What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
