if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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