Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize