she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
