I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
