What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
