I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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