that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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