This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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