What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
