PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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