So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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