the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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