If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
