the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
