I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
