He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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