Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
