Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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