So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
