is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
